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Post by Michael Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 16:07:12 GMT -5
Michael hesitated for a moment, knowing that he was probably going to hear a few things from Hollie that were going to be well deserved, but still scathing none the less. Why not keep it like this? Why not have a pretense? It had worked for the past few months. She didn't have to know that he ran away because he didn't want to commit, she didn't have to know that he joined the Air Force because he wanted to stay off the street and forget about the mistake he had made, she didn't have to know about the sleepless nights and the constant pain he endured. But she needed this. He needed this.
Light.
He walked inside her office, putting a hand on her shoulder gently, telling her:
"Honey, you have a minute? I'd like to talk with you about something."
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Post by Hollie Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 17:29:12 GMT -5
It felt like barely any time had passed at all since Hollie had left the Captain's office after that play with his new gadget and the piano. She'd spent most of the time since she'd sat down in her office pondering over what he had meant when he'd told her not to do anything she would regret. Did he think she was going to do something reckless? The only thing she was thinking about doing was researching more into surgery that would give her sight, even though she had been blind from birth. And she and Ollie weren't going anywhere fast. Yes, they had said that they loved each other, but they were content with where they were for the moment, just... happy.
So, Hollie was a little surprised when she heard the door to her office slide open, accompanied by the Captain's voice. What he said was even more intriguing.
"Honey, you have a minute? I'd like to talk with you about something."
"Yeah, sure," she swivelled in her chair a little, so she was facing him, even if she couldn't see him, "what did you want to talk about?"
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Post by Michael Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 17:39:08 GMT -5
Michael saw another chair nearby, so he took it, bringing it close to where Hollie was and slowly sitting down, the agony of his debate only intensifying as he sat down, as if he was being strapped into an electric chair. He looked across at Hollie, noting the slight details of her face that, upon examination, looked strangely familiar. The way she crossed her legs, the way she laughed...
Michael swallowed a lump growing in his throat, now beginning:
"I don't want to beat around the bush with you, so I'm giving this to you straight, like the only way I know how. You've told me about your parents, you've told me how your father ran off. I know that must have been hard for your mother..." For the first time in eight years, tears were forming in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away before continuing:
"You...you had a hard childhood. You did. Your mother did the best she could for you, but your father...your father was scared. Your father wasn't thinking. And your daddy wants to make up. Make up for everything that he did. Make up for all of it. He loves you Hollie." He was close to breaking down, so he paused, taking her right hand in his own right, allowing the few moments of silence to give him enough strength to say the words he had always wanted to say:
"I'm your father."
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Post by Hollie Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 17:56:48 GMT -5
There was an agonisingly long silence.
Hollie's brain had stalled, flat lined even, at those three words.
"I'm your father."
Pushing aside the thoughts that she was having her own Star Wars moment right now, she tried to get a grapple on what else she was thinking. Was she even thinking anything right now?
Her mouth opened, and then closed again, and the silence persisted.
"How?"
No, wait, that wasn't the most pressing question. If she took what he said to be true, then there was a whole raft of other things that had been rattling around her head for years that she'd wanted to say should this ever happen.
She just hadn't expected it to be someone who she trusted to be the one to do this to her.
"How," she said again, her voice hollow, "how could you do this?"
She hadn't even realised that tears were pouring down her face, her brain zipping from shock straight to anger... or more upset, the emotion that anger was hiding.
"Do this to me now? How long have you known? How long have you been keeping this from me? Why didn't you tell me? Why???"
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Post by Michael Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 18:07:43 GMT -5
Michael expected the emotional outburst, calmly replying to her questions in a steady voice(that was the only thing he knew he had to be: steady. If he broke at any point during this...he didn't know if Hollie was going to have any kind of a logical answer from him. Just a lot of silence.):
"I've known for a few months now. When I was given your file, I looked through your history and saw the details of your childhood. I wasn't going to tell you...in fact, I didn't want you to know. I wanted this to stay buried...but you needed to know. You needed to know before something happened and you couldn't find out the truth." Michael brushed a few tears away from Hollie's face, saying:
"I know you're angry at me. You deserve to be. I was a scared moron who couldn't handle the responsibility of being a father. You didn't deserve me as a father. Never have."
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Post by Hollie Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 18:18:14 GMT -5
Hollie pushed his hand away, her chair rocking backwards as she sprung out of it, walking in any direction as long as it was away from him. Her leg slammed into a desk, but she didn't feel anything, her mind and body numb.
"You knew all this time?" her voice was higher than it usually was, and breathless, it was hard to keep a handle on words at all right now. "You weren't going to tell me? I've been missing a father for twenty-two years, you knew that, and you were just going to keep it quiet? Keep it to yourself? Leave me in the DARK?" She cursed loudly, throwing her arms up into the air, a fiery and painful rage burning in her gut.
Letting out something that sounded like a mixture of a moan, a scream, and a sob, she smacked her fist against the desk, trying to release her anger in some way, but she just couldn't, it was too overwhelming.
The tears were running like a waterfall now, and heavy torrent flowing from her unseeing eyes.
"I can't believe this, I can't. I can't be hurt again," her heart wrenched when she realised this what was causing her so much pain, once again someone she trusted was breaking her heart, "I've been missing... missing my family... for so long now..." her chest was heaving in and out as she choked out the words, "and you've been here... all this time... I've been missing... ohhhhh..."
Unable to say any more, she dissolved into hysterics, her hands pressed tightly across her face so he couldn't see her crying.
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Post by Michael Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 18:28:09 GMT -5
Michael watched Hollie's outburst with a terrible sadness, knowing this was bound to happen, knowing that the girl's heart was breaking at the seams. This is why he didn't want to tell her. They could have gone on, having a relationship that was fantastic without any baggage or clutter. Then he did this. But, he was a straightshooter: she had a right to know just as much he did. He knew that he would probably get shoved away if he even attempted to comfort her by holding her, so all he did was get up from his chair, walking over to his daughter and saying:
"Just let it out...just let it all out." He couldn't take it: he didn't care if she shoved him through the hull of the ship and out into space. Michael put his arms around his sobbing daughter, quietly rocking her back and forth gently.
"I couldn't believe that my child was born blind, so I ran. But you did so much more than I thought you ever could have. You don't need me, honey. You've done so much on your own. All I'm asking is that you forgive me. That's all." Of course, that was a lie: he wanted to be with her all the time, recoup all the losses.
But somehow, he knew it was going to take time.
He had patience.
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Post by Hollie Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 18:35:59 GMT -5
Hollie wanted to force the man away, the man who had just driven an emotional spear through her chest, causing a pain so severe it was resonating throughout her whole body. But instead of shoving him away like her anger told her to, she smushed her face against his chest instead, rasping for air through her sobs.
It was ironic that the man who had caused the upset was her only source of comfort.
Despite the pain, he had just given her what she'd wanted the most all her life; her family.
It took her a while to get to a point where she was able to breathe steadily again, and when she could, she whispered, "I need to sit down."
Moving back over to her seat with his guidance, she practically fell into it, her legs giving out on her.
Rubbing her eyes, she sniffed, not sure what to say.
"What are we supposed to do now?"
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Post by Michael Clarke on Nov 21, 2010 18:48:10 GMT -5
Michael smiled at the question, telling her:
"I need to make sure that the UGAP doesn't know we're family. Otherwise, my status as Captain could be under review. Favoritism, you know. Second thing we need to do is catch up...slowly." He knelt down next to her and kissed her on the cheek, continuing:
"I've always wanted to tell you this..." He took her hand and said something that both Hollie and Michael have wanted to exchange for twenty plus years:
"I love you."
-End-
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