Thick As Thieves (Zoe)

[Sam O'Connor]

"What did I say about the hair?!?" he snatched her hands in his and glared menacingly, shaking her, "you've ruined it!" He pretended to be distraught, his face falling forwards into his lap and he let out the worst fake sob ever. His hair was probably sticking at least a couple of inches up off the top of his head at this length. "Well," he pulled his head up a little, "at least my tongue is okay," he poked it out at her, licking her when she went to grab his tongue, like always.

Sam grinned, "it's nice to be appreciated." He laughed and said, "it's not just for me, it's for the other chefs as well. I seem to be the one who spends the most time in here though," he had to admit, sometimes it felt like he did more work than the actual head chef, Alex. "They are shiny though," he stroked the fridge, "my precious."

"It's what all the big kids do," he said, poking his tongue out at her, "nah, it's for the duck. I don't get any," he pouted. He pretended to fall over with shock, "Zoe Robinson not snacking before dinner, this is amazing!" He boiled the asparus tips in salty water for a few minutes before draining them, and slinging them back in the warm pan. He tossed some butter over them to add flavour, then grabbed and pan and began searing the duck's skin in a diamond shape pattern. He then placed it in a dish, and slid the dish into the oven, timing twelve minutes on his watch.

"You remember the duck they did on that old ranch in Texas?" he snickered, "lopped off it's head and roasted it on a spit. Poor thing, not really a dignified death." Their trip to America had been random but fun, one of the best holidays he'd ever been on, if he was honest.

[somerandomhippie4]

Zoe put on her shocked face as Sam wailed, and let herself be flopped back and forth. "Are you choking?" she gasped, giving him a couple light smacks on the back. Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed, breaking to fluff his hair back to it's original style. "Blaaaa!" she protested with a laugh, wiping his lick on his hair. "It certainly is, you mischievous donkey."

Posing, she beamed, "Well, our stomachs appreciate you, in any case. They can't say much, though." She shook her head, letting her hair flop around. "Nope, I'm pretty sure they put it in just for you. They're just saying that so you don't feel spoilt." With a grin, she quipped, "One fridge to rule them all, one fridge to find them..." They were so silly.

"Well, I guess our Sammy's just stuck in the sandbox then. And tell that ducky to drink in moderation. I want my dinner sober, thank you very much." She wagged a finger, then rolled her eyes. "Shut up," she huffed, sticking her tongue out. "I'm waiting for the ducky." Laughing, she agreed, "If I'm to be killed and eaten, I'd like to at least keep my dignity intact. Or my cowboy hat."

[Sam O'Connor]

Sam snorted, "yes, yes, I'm choking to death on my own distress!" he coughed, pulling himself back up into a sitting position so that he could breathe properly. She sorted his hair out for him, calling him a name as he licked her. "Donkey?! I've never been called that before," he said before braying, and nuzzling his hair against her cheek, trying not to laugh the whole time he was doing it.

"They're all gurgling in gratitude, I'm sure," he nodded, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "Oh, they're trying to keep my down to earth, are they? I must make it so difficult for them with all this ego I carry," he patted his hair, "it's so big, you see." Snickering, he finished off her sentence for her, "one fridge to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!"

He began playing absentmindedly with a spoon on the counter, making it spin clockwise without even touching it. "I will," he chuckled, "the duck knows that inhibriation isn't the answer to its problems, and that you certainly won't be pleased if it stumbles out stinking of port." Sam snorted and pretended to zip his mouth closed, humming his reply through his lips now that they were supposedly sealed shut.

[somerandomhippie4]

Her grin widening, Zoe shot back, "Another one of your diseases, is it? Jeez, your immune system needs a reboot." Giggling as he nuzzled against her cheek, she nuzzled under his chin, purring. "Yes, the fluffiest donkey I've ever seen." Swinging her feet up on the top of the couch, she flipped upside down and grinned up at her friend. Whatever anxiety, tightness she might have felt around the high officers had dissolved. It was so nice to smile again.

"Absolutely rumbling in pleasure," she grinned. Tugging his long fringe, she laughed, "It's huge. That must be why all those high-up people all have buzz-cuts- to keep their ego down. Watch, they might come after you with a razor." Her beam widened as he finished her sentence. Didn't take them that long to click again. "The almighty fridge sees all," she warned in a spooky voice, twiddling her fingers at him.

Watching him make the spoon spin, she casually darted a hand in, trying to poke the end of the spoon as it flew by. She missed, and quickly snapped her hand back so she wouldn't stop the spoon on it's course. "Poor ducky," she pouted. "Drowning it's sorrows in wine. Then again, he was scheduled for a bit of an execution, so I guess I'll forgive him." Rolling her eyes, she drawled, "Speak up, master chef, your ego is muffling your reply." A giggle escaped, and she tucked her shoulders up.

[Sam O'Connor]

"I'm not usually this bad!" he protested, "it's all because of you. YOU!" He launched another tickle attack, grabbing a foot, slipping her shoe off before tickling it without mercy. Tickling her feet had about the same effect as tickling her ribs, except, with her feet like that, she could kick him. "Calling me a donkey, I don't know. It's a wonder I have any self esteem left!"

Laughing, Sam said, "I'm not sure the buzz-cuts help at all. I've seen bald people with egos bigger than my obviously massive one," he smirked, poking her gently. "If they came at me with a razor, you'd have to protect me with your kung-fu, I'd be helpless!" That was far from true of course, but it was amusing to pretend. He twiddled his fingers as well, "from the kitchen of DOOOOOM!" He paused, "does that make us Frodo and Sam?"

With a smirk, Sam made the spoon lift up in the air slowly, tapping her lightly on the tip of her nose. "A bit of an execution?" he snorted, "oh Zoe, master of the understated." He shook his head at her and rolled his eyes, unzipping his mouth, "I said... well, nothing in particular. But we know how disasterous hats can be. I think I'll just dig the beanie out of my wardrobe, it's a bit dusty, but I know it's safe."

Taking the duck out of the oven, he slid the slices onto two plates, arranging the asparagus tips around them. He then drizzled the fat from the pan across them, glazing what was left with the port before trickling that over too. "Et voila!" he said, "grab the cutlery, dear, and we can eat."

[somerandomhippie4]

She was just about to launch into a reply when Sam darted in and grabbed her foot. Shrieking in surprise, she giggled helplessly, jerking her foot around randomly. "I'm sorry!" she laughed, squeezing her eyes shut, "I surrender, I surrender! Have mercy!" Managing to get a little breath back, she giggled, "Oh, you know I jest. Your hair is much nicer than a donkey's." Dissolving back into the couch, she continued laughing.

Squirming at the poke, she shot back, "I'm sure the doctors have problems giving you check-ups. It probably shows up and blocks all the scans." Conceding, she agreed, "Yeah, some of those buzz-cuts can be pretty stuffy. Don't worry, if they come after you with a razor, we'll just set up a couple mirrors. That'll distract them long enough for us to get a good head-start." Laughing, she paused, and considered, "You know what, probably. Though, one does not simply walk into the kitchen, so maybe we're Urgals or something. Day passes."

Reaching over to lick the spoon, she chuckled, "I've been working on it just pour vous, mon cher," she quipped, slipping into French. It sounded so much better clipped than English. She rolled her eyes back goofily, tossing her head around. "No kidding. You better give it a good wash or something first, though, or you'll track dust all over your lovely kitchen." She knew he was pretty good about keeping his kitchen clean, though. Good chef code and all that.

She wasn't surprised when her stomach rumbled at the appearance of the food. It looked good. Watching like a cat as he arranged it across the plate, she sprung up as he asked her to grab the cutlery. "All set," she beamed, utensils in hand. "Now, does the master chef decree we eat in here, or out there?" She gestured to the door, out to the mess hall.

[Sam O'Connor]

Sam laughed heartily as she squirmed, trying to break her foot free of his grasp. "Fine, fine," he said, letting her foot go, "I'll be merciful, because I'm nice like that." He stuck his tongue out at her, retracting it before she tried anything. "Well, I suppose that's something," he petted his messy hair, dreading looking in a mirror later. The only good thing about it being so long at the moment was that it generally stayed in one place if he ran his fingers through it, which he did, trying to set it at least partly right.

He snorted when she mentioned the mirror trick, "ah, I see you're as clever as always," he tapped her noggin, "it's a wonder that enormous brain fits inside that cute head of yours." He let out and 'oooh' and said, "you're right. We're going to need some sort of disguise. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly the same size as a Hobbit, so the Orc's armor might look like it shrunk in the wash on me. For you on the other hand, the fit would be perfect." He grinned at her cheekily.

"Oh, merci, mon petit chou, it's much appreciated," he snickered. The extent of his knowledge of languages wasn't great, but he could understand teeny bits of it, like that French just then. With a chuckle he said, "I'll just take it in the shower with me next time I need a wash, I'm sure the shampoo will do it wonders." When she asked where they were going to eat, he stroked his chin. "Hmmmm, mess hall, we have the place all to ourselves after all," he grinned, scooping up both the plates, following her out of the door.

Once both the plates were set on the table, he facepalmed. "What did you want to drink?" he asked, looking at her expectantly, "or is the port in the duck enough for you."

[somerandomhippie4]

Gulping in air after he let her foot go, she sighed, "Yes, and thank you, O Mighty Tickler Of Feet." Sticking her tongue back out at him- it seemed to be a thing of theirs- she snickered. "Something, yes. At least you could play around with it like this, if you wanted." He may have been a skinny little thing, but his hair was one thing that never seemed to let him down. Most of the time.

Scrunching her nose up, she said, "Well, it's bigger on the inside, you know. The hair's a bit of a misnomer." Laughing, she countered, "Oh, so we're back with this, then? No new material for me?" Grinning back, she continued, "Well, there's always the walking tree stuff. That might fit you, long as we tucked it in a bit."

"Brava!" she beamed, giving him a round of applause. "The French is tres beau. We need to take a trip to France, and show you off." Snickering, she held open the door, and said, "Well, you better give it the full deal, then. Wash, mani, pedi, the works. It needs to feel special, after being cooped up for so long." Plopping down at a table, she took her fork and snagged a piece before she sat down.

"Hmm?" Swallowing, she backtracked, "Oh, no, the port's probably enough. Don't want to get me too drunk, now, do we?" Grinning, she took a seat. "You'd better get yourself something, though, for a job well done." The duck was fabulous. Taking another piece, she munched happily. This was the part she missed the most- the good food. Sure, all the friendshippy stuff too, but what was the point of having a chef friend without the food perks?

[Sam O'Connor]

"Like a TARDIS!" he suddenly declared, before saying a little more calmly, "there could be no end to your brain. You could keep pulling out endless facts, like Mary Poppins pulling furniture out of her bag. That'd be awesome. As long as you don't pull a lampstand out of your nose." Sam let out a 'pfffft' before saying, "not everyone is as marvelous as you, we can't all think of original stuff all the time." He snorted loudly at what she said next, almost choking, "that is true. It would fit my legs certainly," they were long, so very long.

Laughing, he shook his head, "no, no, no. That's about all the French I know, and if I used it over and over, I might end up insulting someone. I can't imagine a bouncer with more tattoes than hair taking too well to me calling him 'mon petite chou'. Unless he was that way inclined of course, in which case, I'd be running very quickly in the opposite direction." He raised his eyebrows at her as he pushed past with the food, "mani, pedi, whatty? This is a language with which I am unfamiliar; girl talk." He smirked at her before chuckling. He was joking of course, he had a vague idea what she meant.

"Speak for yourself," he said, "seeing you drunk can be amusing for me." He grinned before retrieving some water for himself, safe stuff. "I think the port will be enough to get me hiccoughing," he joked, poking his fork into a piece of the duck before eating it. He had outdone himself - the duck was succulent and gorgeous. Hungrily eating more, he looked over at Zoe as she happily ate her own meal. He loved it when it looked like people were enjoying his food. And Zoe always looked like she was. "I'm going to have to put this on the menu," he said.

[somerandomhippie4]

"Haha!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air with a laugh. "My head is dimensionally transcendental! Mysteries of the universe solved!" Putting on her serious face, she told him, "No, a lampstand would be silly. The anti-gravity tea set takes up quite enough room as it is, floating all over the place." With a tut, she shook her finger. "What, your head isn't dimensionally transcendental too? We better get you to the medbay, and get that fixed up." She gave said head a light rap, and laughed, "Well, there'd be a little padding, I think. They're not quite thick enough, all skinny and luscious as they are." That would come back and bite her, she knew it.

Laughing at the silly mental image, she relented, "Okay, okay, fine. No France quite yet, if you want to keep it heterosexual. Even if the bouncers do fall head over heels for you." She paused. "Then again, they would just bounce, I imagine, so I guess it wouldn't be too much of a problem." Laughing, she said, "That's alright. I'm sure if you cook for it, and pamper it with compliments, that will work just fine too."

Her mouth was full, which prohibited sticking out of the tongue, so she settled for scrunching her nose. Swallowing hastily, she grumbled, "Yes, yes, I know. I haven't forgot that." Sticking her tongue out at his back before quickly taking another bite, she mumbled through a full mouth, "Well, we can't have that. Not before the brownies, anyways." Snuggling back into her chair comfortably, she remarked, "It's not on the menu already? Gosh, they're missing out on a lot, you hog." Grinning, she continued eating happily. Poor thing, she teased him so.