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Post by William Blake on Dec 31, 2010 13:29:34 GMT -5
It was strange.
Strange. That was the word that Will's brain kept coming back to. It was strange getting used to not being on the run any more, to not have to watch out for Natalie all the time, looking over his shoulder, checking that they weren't being followed by the police or by R4. To be able to 'relax' was strange. Not that he'd been doing much of that. Even if the Captain had told him to take a break, he could still be found mostly in engineering, ignoring his feelings.
Which led to the other strange thing. His Dad had died before. He'd gone to his funeral, got his emotions out of his system, and got on with life. But this time, he just couldn't get on. Not properly anyway. His head constantly hurt, it felt like it was being gripped in a vice all the time, and his appetite was at an all time low - he wasn't even drinking coffee. Free running in a local center nearby hadn't helped. Hot showers. Cold showers. Actually sleeping. Nothing. But he was sure that there wasn't anything to deal with.
He was also ignoring the file labelled 'William' on the drive his Dad had given him before he died. Again.
Will wasn't in denial. No.
It was three in the morning. Will was the only one in engineering, to his knowledge, and was lying underneath a console, not really doing anything to note, just tinkering. Heaving a sigh, he put the laser tool down and dragged his hands over his face. Ugh. His feet decided to go on autopilot, taking him into his office to stand behind his desk, staring at his computer, and at the drive on his desk. What was the big deal? He should just read it. It probably didn't say anything important anyway.
But what if...?
Clutching the front of his hair in his hand, he tugged his head down, then looked up, about to head out when he realised someone was standing in the doorway.
"Oh. Hey." |
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Post by Natalie Blake on Dec 31, 2010 14:37:00 GMT -5
Settling back in on the Venia was nothing short of impossible. There was no more need to hide from view--the crew were good, trustworthy people. There was actual food to eat, a bed to sleep on for more than just one night. Nothing but simple, tedious tasks to keep ones thoughts at bay. While all of that was technically a good thing, all things considered, Natalie found it rather uncomfortable. It would take a while before she felt at home here again.
But what was worse was Will. He wasn't sleeping well, if he was sleeping at all, and his usual appetite had all but diminished. And who could blame him, when he'd lost his father for the second time? She knew from personal experience that once was far more than enough. But even though she knew what he was going through, for the life of her she couldn't think of how she could help.
"Look after him." Henry had implored that of her just before he'd died. But how was she supposed to do that?
With each passing day, he seemed to grow more and more detached, as well, and Natalie knew that the only place it could possibly lead to was more pain. When she'd been heading down it, Will had been her saving grace, the one who had turned her around. Now, she owed it to him to do the same. He needed her to. And that was what had sent her down to engineering at three AM.
He was in his office when she arrived, looking disheveled and upset. Even so, he greeted her in an even voice, and she offered him a gentle smile for the effort. "Hey." She took a moment to glance around the room, trying to find any hint of what he might've been doing. Nothing immediately popped out, and so at last she turned her eyes back on him, one side of her mouth quirking up apologetically. "Sorry to barge in on you like this. I was just... wondering if you needed some company." |
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Post by William Blake on Dec 31, 2010 17:08:22 GMT -5
Natalie. He felt like he hadn't seen her in ages, even though he'd seen her every day since they'd got back. His mind really wasn't with it, maybe it had gone on holiday, leaving him behind. "I'm not sure it's really possible to barge in on someone at three in morning, most people wouldn't be awake enough to notice." What was he saying? The first time he'd spoken a proper sentence in days and it was garbage. "Sorry," he said, waving a hand before sinking into his chair, putting his hand to his head. What was up with him? What was he apologising for?
"Seeing as you're here, you don't, by any chance, know where my brain has buggered off to, do you? I'm pretty sure it's left a vacuous hole behind." He looked up at Natalie through his fingers, rings under his eyes, his untrimmed hair a mess. After a moment or two of silence, he waved her over and twisted to face her, leaving his lap open for her to sit in. Once she was down, he twisted back to the computer, plugged the drive in, and tapped the screen, pointing at the file labelled with his name. "Would you read it?" he asked, "if you got a file from your father, would you read it?" |
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Post by Natalie Blake on Dec 31, 2010 18:35:29 GMT -5
"Sorry, haven't seen any brains skittering around," Natalie teased, shaking her head. Then, as a not so subtle hint, she added, "Perhaps it's hiding under your pillow, back in the sleeping quarters?" Will looked absolutely beat, and for a moment she seriously contemplated whether or not she ought to drag him off to bed. But when he waved her over, she didn't argue with him, instead simply heading over and settling herself on his lap.
She hadn't noticed that his monitor had been on before, but now that she was seated in front of it her eyes scanned the screen curiously. It appeared to be the files Henry had given them, judging by some of the document names. It took her a moment to notice he was pointing at one of them, and her eyes slithered down to read the file name. At his query she bit her lip and folded her hands in her lap.
After a brief hesitation, Natalie gave a short nod. "Yes, I would. My father..." she drew in a deep breath to steady herself, "he was a good man, and I loved him. Just as he loved me. And just as your father loved you." Turning her head, she gave Will's cheek a quick peck. "Whatever he sent to you, you were meant to see. You can look at it now, or you can look at it years from now, but I think you're going to have to read it if you ever want to put your mind at rest." |
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Post by William Blake on Dec 31, 2010 20:01:07 GMT -5
Will actually managed a sort of chuckle, "crafty, trying to get me into bed," then he added, "even if it is just for sleep." Just because he looked and felt like crap, didn't mean he couldn't tease her back. The truth was, he probably wouldn't be able to sleep until he figured out what was bothering him. And if he, and she, were both right, then the thing that was bothering him was right underneath his finger tip. He just had to accept that and open it, but something was holding him back.
"I'm still..." afraid. He took a breath, shaking his head, "it's stupid, but after twenty five years, even with that display back on Earth, I still don't trust that there won't be stuff in that file that I won't want to read. The man... Darth Vader turn or not, was a piece of work. Habits of a lifetime and all that. Not just him, but me too." It wasn't like nearly twenty years of fear was easy to shift, even if the man he had feared was dead. Feared, loved, conflicted feelings scattering around his head didn't make things easy. But, after glancing at Natalie one more time, he double clicked the file, and watched (a little surprised) as a video file faded onto the screen.
The drawing room at the Blake house came into view, and Henry's voice sounded loudly near the camera. "Is this thing on? I can never tell."
"That's because you're technologically inept, darling."
"Hey, do you want our son to watch his father being insulted on film?"
"Probably, if he knows you like I do."
The camera shifted shakily upwards as, presumably, Henry picked it up, coming round to sit next to someone on the sofa. The camera swizzled round, and both Henry and Jillian appeared in shot.
"Hello there baby boy," Jill waved the fingers at the screen. "Being all cheesy, your Dad decided that he wanted to make this video for you when you're old enough to understand our gibberish."
"I wouldn't call it gibberish."
"Of course you wouldn't."
"Anyway."
"Just in case we don't tell you enough, whether you're five minutes, weeks, months, years, decades, or even centuries old, we will always love you."
"Always."
"Because no matter where you are, what you're doing, who you're seeing, and why, we know you'll be doing great things."
"You are a Blake after all, it runs in the blood."
"I think you'll find that it actually comes from my side of the family," she winked at the camera.
"Regardless. We're proud of you, and we want you to know that. Even when we're not around to tell you."
"Take care of yourself. Be strong."
"We love you."
The video file ended, and Will blinked. Somewhere around the ten second mark, tears had begun leaking from his eyes and they hadn't stopped the whole way through. With shaky hands, he tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming, thicker and faster with every passing moment. There were no words for what he'd just seen, that his father had kept that all these years, only to show it to him now they were both truly gone... an unexpected sob heaved from his throat, and he hiccoughed, covering his face with his hands. Natalie didn't need to see him like this, a complete and utter mess. "I'm sorry," he spluttered. |
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