Goodbye (Open)

[Natalie Blake]

A couple of weeks had gone by after the nanovirus incident now, and Natalie was finally feeling well enough to be up and about again. The pain in her chest had lessened extensively, if not vanished completely, and after getting several good night's sleep in, her headache had gone away as well. The one thing that hadn't lessened was her concern for her father.

The dream she'd had while she'd been under had been too real for her to simply let it go. She knew that he'd been alive when she left Earth, and so she knew for a fact that he hadn't died when she'd been five as he had in her dreams, but it had been over a month since she'd last heard from her parents. Considering that the lack of contact was due to something terrible that had happened chilled her blood.

She'd been avoiding calling them for the last little while more for than reason than the fact that she needed to recover. But alone in the common room, pacing back and forth, she kept glancing down at her comm, as if hoping her father would suddenly call and tell her about some electrical storm that had been interrupting communications.

Hell, even if he just explained that he'd been busy working on his latest project she'd forgive him. She just needed to hear his voice, to know that he was all right, that if they ever rotated by earth she could go and visit them and feel his arms around her again. She needed him to be okay.

As Natalie paced passed her comm again, sitting innocently on the coffee table next to her, she let go of the last bit of fear holding her back and lunged forward to grab it. Stabbing the speed-dial for her home-number almost frantically, she waited for someone to pick up on the other end. Come on, come on... After the seventh ring, she bowed her head and was about to hand up when the line crackled.

"Hello?" It was her mother, Elaine. Her voice sounded pained and tired, and Natalie's heart doubled in speed. Clutching the comm tightly, she took a deep breath to steady herself. "Mom? It's me, it's Natalie. Is... you haven't called me lately. Everything okay?"

She heard her mother catch her breath, and instantly did the same. Normally Elaine would be gushing, prattling on about this or that and saying how happy she was to hear her daughters voice. Instead, she was completely speechless, so quiet that Natalie wondered if she'd dropped the link. Finally, her mother spoke again.

"No, dear, no, it's not." The way her voice was shaking suggested that she was close to tears, and that was anything but reassuring. Natalie waited with bated breath for her to continue. "I didn't want to tell you. I was hoping that everything would blow over and we could tell you when you came home for a visit, face-to-face, but..."

A stifled sob. "For the last while, your father's been in the hospital. I've been spending all my time with him, and that's why I haven't contacted you."

Instantly Natalie relaxed. It wasn't like she was relieved to hear that Bill was in the hospital, but surely her mother wouldn't have come home unless things were looking up. Or maybe the staff had simply told her to go home. "You could have told me that, mom. What happened, anyway? What's wrong with him?"

Elaine sucked in a shaky breath before answering her. "He had a bullet in his chest. It had been there for a while, apparently, and it... it had been traveling toward his heart." Her mother paused then, and Natalie swallowed a little. When she spoke, her voice was quivering a little. "W... why are you saying 'had'? D-did they get it out or something?"

The pause was too long. Silence answered her questions far more than her mother's broken voice, though that answered her too in time. "No, baby, they didn't. You're father... well, he... oh, Natalie, he's gone." No. Everything around her seemed to disappear. The world was nothing anymore, insubstantial and unimportant--surreal, almost.

Distantly she heard her comm clatter to the floor. Vaguely she registered that her breaths were coming raggedly and painfully. But none of it was real. None of it could be. It had just been a dream, and nothing more. And if she waited, maybe she'd wake up. But she didn't. "No..."

[William Blake]

Will's day had been a long one to say the least. The vast majority of engineering was still in dire need of repair after the explosions the other day, and they still hadn't reached the nearest planet in order to pick up the necessary parts. So, for the moment, they were having to stick the ship's systems back together with whatever they could find, using a fair amount of ingeniuity. The ship would hold together long enough for them to get to their destination, then they could set her down and get on with the real repairs.

It didn't help matters that Will's chest was still hurting. The medical team had managed to heal any external traces of the burns on his chest from when he'd got hit by the explosion from the blast, but there was still internal bruising, and it hurt like hell. He soldiered on though, like he always did, despite peoples' protests. They all knew that he was too beligerant to heed their advice. They'd have to cuff him in a bed in order to get him to stop and rest, and they didn't dare try.

There was another thing playing on his mind as well; Natalie had been becoming more and more tense over the past few days. It was like every day she got a bit better, she also got more nervous. Will had remembered to remind her to phone her parents, but, to his knowledge, she hadn't yet, and he didn't know whether that was what was putting her on edge. Maybe she thought something was wrong at home, that's why they weren't calling. Will could only really guess. He didn't really expect any calls from anyone, so he didn't get anxious if he didn't hear from people. Natalie, however, sounded really close with her parents, and not hearing from them seemed like a bad sign.

Heading back to his room to change out of his filthy clothes, he stopped in the doorway, hearing Natalie's voice from the common room. She sounded distressed - maybe she'd caved and finally decided to call her parents. He opened the door quietly, stepping inside, looking to see what was going on. Her body was frozen to the spot, her comm fell from between her fingers, bouncing as it hit the floor. Something was wrong.

Walking over to her, he came round the front of her to try and gauge what was the matter, only to find tears streaming down her face. "Natalie," he said, taking a hold of her arm - she looked like she was about to drop - "what's wrong?" Her eyes were distant, like she was in a completely different place to reality.

He picked up her comms device off the floor, noticing that whoever Natalie had been talking to was still on the line. "I'm sorry, Natalie is going to have to call you back," he said to whoever was on the line before ending the call, putting the comm down on the table, keeping a hold of Natalie's arm. "Natalie," he said again, squeezing her arm gently, "come back to me, sweetheart."

[Natalie Blake]

It seemed that Will was always the one to find Natalie when she was at her worst, whether intentionally or not. When she'd been suffering from the nanovirus, he'd been the one to come and see if she was all right. Now that her father was gone, he was the one who had her standing there lost and broken. And yet, just as she had then, Natalie needed him.

If his chest hadn't still been injured, she would have thrown herself at him and broken down in his arms. But more than just that was stopping her. Her muscles refused to move--or more like she refused to let them. Because if she moved and the scene didn't change, then it would prove that it was real. It would prove that there wasn't even the slightest hope of her father still being alive.

Was there really any hope anyway? She wanted so badly to tell herself yes, but she knew it would be a lie, and lying to herself would just make it all the more worse, because she knew that then she'd have to be the one to tell herself that he was truly gone. She'd never get to see his face again, or feel him holding her close, hear him laugh or tell her he loved her.

As Natalie slowly, and agonizingly, accepted that, she managed to pull herself back into her own body and she was able to meet Will's eyes for a moment, her own streaming with a ceaseless river of tears, before her legs gave out and she fell to her knees. As the first sob ripped its way out of her chest, she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to keep control long enough to tell Will what was going on.

"My... m-my dad," she choked out, shaking her head as if doing so would make the words any less true, "he... h-he's..." But she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. She just couldn't. And so instead she hugged herself tighter and let the wrenching sobs take over. There was nothing she could do now but wait until they stopped.

[William Blake]

Natalie was still unmoving, gripped in complete and utter shock. This really wasn't good, something terrible must have happened for her to be this way. The tears were like a waterfall down her face, soaking her neck, seeping down into the collar of her shirt. Will rubbed her arm gently, waiting for her to come round. It would happen eventually, he knew it would.

Sure enough, something in her accepted whatever news she'd heard and she fell to her knees, letting out heartbreaking sobs. Will kept a hold of her arm as she fell, making sure she didn't land to heavily on her knees, then crouched down in front of her as she tried to force the words out of her mouth, so he could understand what the matter was.

She didn't need to finish her sentence. He knew exactly what was the matter. Seating himself down on the floor, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest - he didn't care if it still hurt, he would ignore it. His shirt dampened almost as soon as Natalie's face touched it, and he held her tightly, stroking her arm with his thumb. She needed to cry this initial shock out, he knew that from experience. Despite all the hell that his father had put him through, not crying when he'd found out the news had wrecked him. He'd let out an outburst at the funeral then collapsed, a complete mess, away from everyone's prying eyes. He'd felt absolutely wretched, and he could only imagine how terrible Natalie was feeling, considering she loved her own Dad probably more than anyone.

"I know, it's okay," he said soothingly, "just cry." Natalie meant the world to him, and he would be here for her, no matter what.

[Natalie Blake]

Will didn't have to tell Natalie twice--hell, he needn't have even bothered to tell her once. There was no way she could have stopped the tears if she'd tried, and knowing this, she turned into his chest and simply let go. She didn't want to hold on anymore, all it did was hurt too much. It wasn't fair to Will that he had to see her like this, but having him leave would be worse.

As she buried her face into his shoulder, she found herself thinking about the dream she'd had again. Could it possibly have been true? No, Bill hadn't died when she'd been little, but her mother had mentioned a bullet in his chest, and Natalie had watched him get shot. Had she been... remembering? Had those two men really burst into the saloon and shot her father? She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

It took a long time for Natalie to cry herself out, but eventually the sobs subsided into no more than occasional gasps and sniffles and she managed to uncurl herself from Will's embrace. Wiping the tears off her face haphazardly, she glanced around to figure out where her comm had gotten to.

She wasn't sure she would be able to hear her mother's voice without breaking down again, but seeing as she'd suddenly vanished on her Elaine was probably more than a little worried. After a long moment of simply staring at her comm where it sat once more on the coffee table, Natalie finally reached over to pick it up only to stare at it resting in her hands instead.

[William Blake]

In the past, Will probably would have desperately tried to avoid a situation like this, but this time he didn't mind. He didn't know whether it was spending time with the girls, or whether he was maturing, but seeing Natalie like this didn't freak him out, it just made him concerned. Especially when he knew why she was in this state.

It was a good fifteen minutes before Natalie had calmed down enough to breathe properly again, and the first thing she did was reach from her comm. Will didn't know whether she'd seen him end the call before, or whether she still thought that whoever she had been talking to was still on the line. He could only assume she'd been talking to her mother, but he hadn't really given the person on the other end of the line a chance to speak before he'd hung up. All of his thoughts had been on Natalie, whoever was on the phone would forgive him.

He wasn't exactly sure speaking to her mother would be the best thing right now, and she certainly wasn't actively trying to re-establish the call. "Come on," he said, lifting her up before gently setting her down on the sofa, letting her keep the comm in her hand, if she wanted to phone, he wasn't going to stop her.

Will then went into the kitchen, grabbing some tissues and a glass of water before returning to her, seating himself beside her. His head tried to grasp for something to say, but he wasn't sure what he could say in this situation. Nothing would make her feel any better right now, not about her father anyway. Taking her hand in his, he placed it around the glass of water, "drink," he said, "before you become so dehydrated you shrivel like a prune."

[Natalie Blake]

Still staring at her comm, Natalie barely noticed when Will moved her onto the couch. She was too busy battling with herself internally, struggling to keep her grief at bay and decide whether calling her mother back would be a good or bad idea. Crying more, while appealing for the release, wasn't something she wanted to continue with in front of Will, and hearing Elaine's voice again would likely start her up again.

When Will re-entered the room, Natalie glanced up at him briefly before looking down at the comm again. Sniffling a little, she dropped it on the cushion next to her and pulled her knees up to her chest. That seemed to be her default-position--when things went bad, she'd curl up in a ball. Will put a glass of water in her hand and she took it without complaint.

Natalie gave a weak and broken attempt at a smile when he commented on her shriveling up like a prune that fell away almost instantly. I think it's a little late for that, she tried to joke after she'd obediently taken a sip of the water. Instead what came out was a quiet, "I'm sorry." Not for crying, of course. She was merely sorry that he'd had to be there to witness it.

[William Blake]

Will noticed that she'd dropped her comm, and moved it out the way before it got completely lost in the sofa cushions. If Natalie didn't make the call back later, he might try to. It would be weird and probably bad sticking his nose in, but it was only to let whoever it was know that Natalie was okay... well, alive and breathing at least.

That was when she apologised. Will shook his head slightly, reaching over to put a hand on her knee. "Why are you apologising?" he said a little incredulously. Her father had just died. Crying wasn't a bad thing right now. Heck, if she'd started throwing stuff across the room in a distraught fashion, or told him to go away, he would have accepted it. He knew what grief was like, and how overwhelming it could be. He certainly hadn't wanted anyone to be there to see him cry.

Usually he was the one that made people run away crying. He'd even got a 6'4" man built like an elephant to break into a blubbery mess before now. And he hadn't particularly cared because there had always been a reason for it. But right now, his only concern was Natalie, and it was real concern for his loved one. "Don't worry about me," he told her, "I'm here for you no matter what. Whenever you need me."

[Natalie Blake]

Instead of answering Will's question, Natalie simply took another, larger sip of water before setting the glass down on the coffee table. In truth, she could think of plenty of reasons as to why she'd apologized, but none of them made much sense.

She was sorry that he had to see her like this, she was sorry she was here and not at home with her mother, she was sorry her dad was gone, and she was sorry for herself. She was also sorry for drenching his shirt. Reaching over, she snatched up a couple of the tissues he'd brought out for her to dry her eyes with--a pointless ambition, as they were still leaking with tears--and began dabbing at the tear-stains she'd left. After a moment, however, she gave it up as a lost cause.

"I've wrecked your shirt," she mumbled, shaking her head apologetically. It wasn't like it was that big of a deal, but it still made her feel terrible. The world didn't feel safe at the moment, and she didn't trust things. All she wanted was to see her father again, but that was impossible.

And so instead she made do with burrowing into Will's side again, hiding her face in his chest as the tears broke free again. At least they were quiet this time.

[William Blake]

Natalie wasn't being very talkative at the moment, and Will didn't blame her. He didn't particularly expect any answers to his questions or comments, it was more to ease the silence. Having tension in the air wasn't going to help the situation.

She kept avoiding looking at him, her eyes red and swollen. He really wanted to pull her close again, but she needed space to breathe and process. She tried to dab down the stains on his shirt and he shook his head, "Natalie," he said softly, taking her hands in his, "it doesn't matter." Her hands were shaking, so he squeezed them gently, looking at her with concern. "I can buy a new shirt," he reassured her. The thing was dirty anyway, he didn't have any qualms over tossing it in the incinerator.

That was when she buried her head against him again, negating anything she'd just said. He sighed slightly, shifting her a little and wrapping his arms around her. He would sit here with her for as long as she needed him to. It was his turn to be there for her.