It's the Past that Haunts You (Ally)

[~ ADMIN]

After Anna's strange peek into the future the other day, she hadn't been able to get the memory of it out of her head - seeing herself in that dress, Ben standing waiting for her at the end of the aisle. It was so strange knowing that they could and possibly would get married someday. Other members of the crew had been seeing things as well, walking into their past and future, dreaming vivid dreams, often shared. It was strange, and would apparently keep going for as long as they stayed near the black hole.

Anna hadn't seen Ally in a good few days, the woman had been busy with work, so she decided to stop by the laboratory and pay her a visit, catch up a little. She was interested to know what Ally had seen, if she'd experienced anything at all. Pushing the door open, she offered Ollie a grin before moving through to the back to find her best friend. "Hey!" she said when she saw Ally's long dark hair, "long time no see, stranger."

[Alliana Porter]

Alliana had been staying to herself the last few days. Phased out by it all. It wasn't something she could simply get over, or deal with. It haunted her. Sure it was a future she could live with, but..she just..couldn't function. Like something was off. Something she just couldn't place.

With a laden sigh, she finished up mixing her compounds, sliding an elbow, them her chin inside her palm. It had been a long, painful day and what she needed was a hard drink, hot shower, and a heavy, dreamless sleep. It, or course, was always easier said than don. She would have to fight paperwork, and Luke probably wanted to talk to her her some. Her night wouldn't end till around 2, possibly 3.

A familiar Scottish voice, reverberated through the air, and she rose her tired head up with a smile, as Anna walked over towards her. "hey.." she breathed back, extending her arms for a hug. "How've you been, mate?"

[~ ADMIN]

Ally looked tired, that was clear to see, but also weary. It could have something to do with something she'd seen, but Anna wouldn't know until she asked. Anna imagined not everyone's visions or whatever they were would turn out happy. They weren't all that lucky. Anna had only seen a snapshot of her future, she was sure that it wasn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows.

"Not bad, not bad," she said in reply to Ally's question, wrapping her arms around Ally's skinny frame as a hug. After a few moments where Ally hugged tighter than Anna was sure she meant to, Anna pulled back, surveying her friend again. "How are you doing?" she asked, "have you seen any of these future things? People all over the ship have been seeing things, meeting their future selves. It's weird."

Almost as if on cue, Anna felt the hairs on her arms stand on end. She frowned, looking round. She couldn't see anything for the moment, but she remembered the feeling from when the wall in the gym had opened up, revealing her and Ben's wedding. She shook her head slightly, half hoping that she was just imagining things.

[Alliana Porter]

Ally closed her eyes, hugging a bit tighter. She was somewhat jealous of Anna's future, or at least what it seemed like. It was a stupid thing, her future ended up perfectly as well. They would just have....complications. God, that miscarriage would be hard, but watching Grace bound into her father's arm s was more than enough. Grace would be more than enough.

"I'm doing pretty good. Getting over my flu." she smiled, half heartedly at Anna's question. It seemed to point towards small talk, when Anna asked the unthinkable."Uhh...what..." she fumbled for a moment, trying to collect up some words to respond with. "I....I shared a dream with Luke, but..it was nothing. Nothing major really." she lied. "expected things, house, dog..we were married." There, that should work....mostly. Unless Anna was desperate for more details, which she would rather not bring up. The pain of losing a child, if even through a dream, hurt enough.

Anna seemed tense, muscles tight, hair on edge. She was nervous, anxious even. Her vitals were pure indications. 'Anna, darlin , you alright?" Ally began, her accent full and heavy on her caring words. Something wasn't right, and that left her concerned.

[~ ADMIN]

Anna wasn't sure whether that was the entire truth or not, but just went with it. She appreciated it when Ally didn't pry, so she wouldn't either. "It hit you pretty hard, didn't it?" It seemed like Ally's flu had been worse than the nanovirus that had affected her, Luke, Natalie and Penn. They'd all bounced back fairly quickly, where as Ally's flu seemed to still be affecting her.

"Shared a dream?" Anna repeated. She hadn't heard of that before, how weird. But then, this whole thing was strange, so why couldn't it be feasible? "Sounds about right," she nodded, a little distracted now to notice that Ally wasn't telling the whole truth.

"I..." she began but didn't finish, peering over her own shoulder to see the same thing that happened last time, an image beginning to appear on the wall behind them. "Uh oh," she said as the image expanded all around them and she began to recognise where they were. They were standing in the woods just out the back of her parents house. The sun was going down, and a twelve year old version of her was taking pictures of the sunlight casting down through the trees. If she remembered this evening correctly, then they wouldn't want to stick around for this. "Let's get out of here."

[Alliana Porter]

Ally was glad Anna never pushed into her personal space, but sometimes she wished her best friend wouldn't be so modest. It only gave Ally more room to lie and sneak around her true emotions and feelings. Someone needed to be true, and raw with her, forcing down her wall, no matter how terrifying exposing her truths would feel like. Anna's question snapped her back into reality, and she fumbled for a sudden response."Yeah.." And that was all she could come up with.

Ally didn't want to talk about it anymore and Anna seemed to notice. They would talk...later. She watched as Anna tensed up further and then, as if by some strange force, everything blurred around them into a...forest? Well, now this was really confusing. "Anna..." she started cautiously. "Where the hell are we?" Anna seemed like she wanted to leave, but Ally wasn't about to let her slip without answers. "Hey.." She reached out, grabbing Anna's wrist. "What's going on?"

[~ ADMIN]

Their conversation about Ally's dream trailed off pretty quickly when Anna realised that they'd been submerged into one of her nightmares, a memory she had buried long ago but the black hole seemed to want her to remember. Anna's eyes flew round to look at Ally as the woman grabbed her arm, and Anna looked panicked, wanting to explain but to also get the hell out of there. "You remember I said something about my brothers?" She had told Ally that they hadn't exactly got on well, but not why. Soon Ally was about to see graphically why.

"Come on, please," Anna said, tugging at Ally's arm, trying to find the door. Her voice couldn't hide her distress. The flash of the camera went off, and there was a boyish laugh from inbetween the trees, followed by a chorus of "Anna Banana!" She physically flinched against the name, and so did her younger self. "Stay away from me,"[/b] younger Anna said, dropping her camera, backing away from them. But they went too quick for her, knocking her to the ground as she struggled. Anna closed her eyes, she couldn't watch.

[Alliana Porter]

Ally furrowed her brow in confusion, but refused to lighten her grip. In one swift motion, she pulled Anna in with her behind a steady oak tree, casting her own grew eyes over to two younger boys and a small red haired girl. "That...that's you.." She breathed, finally lessening her vice grip. Ally, herself was tired of dancing around, simply because she had always done the same thing to others, and it selfishly frustrated her.

"hey....you.." Ally turned her head slightly, calling out to the boys but staying hidden to confuse them further. Her grey eyes settled back into Anna, serious, striking her right into her soul. "Please don't lie to me Anna, You know just as well as I do, that you probably have to face your past somehow.... that, or look me in the eye and tell me."

The words were anything but easy falling out of her mouth, but she had neglected the hardest part of friendship-honesty. She didn't give it, nor did she ask for it. And from this point forward, honesty would rule her. It had shaken up everything when she had been arrested for lying about her past, not to mention, being dragged naked by UGAP SWAT, was enough embarrassment for a lifetime.

Ally reached up, cupping Anna's cheeks to face her. "Anna..darling...my heart aches for what you went though.." Even though Anna wouldn't spill, her vibes and pained eyes had said enough.

[~ ADMIN]

Anna heard Ally begin to realise what exactly was going on, that they'd strayed into Anna's past unwillingly. "Yes, it's me," she confirmed, practically bouncing on the spot with nerves, just wanting to go. She'd lived through her past, she had nightmares of her past, she didn't need it turning up in the science lab! This black hole was an arsehole of the most accute kind if it was going to do something like this to her, make her live through it again... or more, make her watch herself in pain.

"I'm not lying," Anna said, her eyes opening, tears at the corners of them, "I just really don't need to see this again. You have no idea what they put me through, for years. Years. I can't stand it, it hurts Ally. It hurts so much." She was shaking in Ally's arms. Ben was the only other person who knew about this, and he'd reacted with silence and feeble attempt at dealing with the information. She shouldn't have off loaded on him at that time, but he'd asked. Ally seemed to want to know, but...

She swallowed as Ally's hands found her face, the tears breaking free. Taking a hand down, she pulled Ally round so that she was facing the scene. "If you really want to know..."

Young Anna kicked out at her older brother, which only made him come on stronger. This time, Lyle held her down, as he was bigger and stronger, and Ian had the pleasure of sticking his fingers where they shouldn't be. Anna dropped to her knees as she saw her younger self flinch against Ian and let out a sob - she could remember the immense pain as it tore through her heart. Slowly, the scene faded again, bringing them back to the science lab once again, Anna on the floor with tears streaming down her face, Ally standing looking... horrfied.

[Alliana Porter]

Alliana felt Anna breaking, shattering. She didn't even need to look, but she cast her eyes over anyway. She arms wrapped around Anna's frame, gently holding the back of her head as she edge it onto her shoulder. "shhh..." She whispered into Anna's sea of red.

The background faded again right into the lab once more. Anna was practically in tears and did not need to be here right now. Ollie had left quite some time before, so he was nowhere near involved. Ally continued to hold her and slunk with her as she fell into a heap on the floor. "Let's go to my room hun, you just need to cry this out babe." She knew Anna wasn't much of a crier, but everyone had to eventually. Her room would be safer from curious onlookers and people wanting to understand. They didn't need to, and Ally would keep this secret safe with her life.

[~ ADMIN]

Anna fumbled, wiping her eyes as Ally said something about going back to Ally's room. Ally was doing her best to comfort her, but she was right. She'd kept this bottled up for way too long, and she needed it, or at least some of it, out of her system. Stumbling onto her feet, she managed to keep it together long enough to get out of the lab and into the Ally's room.

Almost as soon as the doors closed, Anna sunk on Ally's bed, bending over to let her head sink into her thighs. Her whole body heaved and she let out a shuddering sob, all her muscles tensing against the sound and the feeling of the pain being released from her body. She did the same over and over and over again, tears gushing from her eyes, soaking her jeans. She could barely feel Ally's presence any more, she didn't know where she was, she was completely gripped in anguish for her lost childhood and innocence.

[Alliana Porter]

Ally walked with her silently, opening the door for Anna to finally collapse into emotion. No time was wasted in those hallowed seconds. Anna was crying out her soul and it stung Ally like needles in her heart. She slunk down next to Anna, embracing her arms around her as she slowly pulled Anna to her lap.
Moments like this didn't usually...no..ever happen between the two of them. Sure they were best friends, but they never opened up on such a raw level about such things. Luke knew the whole story of how and why the UGAP was after her, but she couldn't remember if Anna knew. She would have to break that out later, much...much later. But now was not the time. Now, was Anna's time.
Ally rubbed small circles along Anna’s back, holding her best friend, feeling more like a sister than she ever had before. In fact, she hadn’t even noticed she was crying right along with her.

[~ ADMIN]

It took a long while, nearly an hour for Anna to calm down to a point where she felt like she could lift her head to look at Ally, and even then, tears were still running down her cheeks. When she looked at her friend, she realised that she was crying too, and hugged her tightly, not meaning for that to happen, but she supposed it was hard not to when your best friend was sobbing uncontrollably in your arms. "I'm sorry," she croaked, her throat a wreck.

After a couple more minutes, she pushed away from Ally a little, lying back on the bed so she could breathe properly, sniffing to try and clear her nose. "I feel wretched," she admitted. It had been a long time coming, and Anna couldn't guarantee herself that she wouldn't break down like that again. She would probably never get over what happened.

[Alliana Porter]

Ally held Anna as she cried. She didn't mind holding her like this, offering her shoulder for her best friend's tears. She wiped her teared cheek with her thumb, holding Anna's face gently. "No...don't...apologize hun. Don't ever be sorry, ever." She pulled her close again, holding her in a tight hug, before letting her loose. Anna was becoming more and more like her sister. These moments weren't free, and she could tell Anna didn't fall apart like this in front of just anyone.

"I know..." She replied, as Anna flopped onto her back. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself..." She hulled herself into her corner on the bed, and pulled her knees into her chest. With a small sigh, she adjusted her chin on her knees and watched her best friend quietly. There wasn't much more she could say to comfort her right now, just being with her seemed to be enough.

[~ ADMIN]

”Habit, sorry,” Anna said, then realised what she’d done, and managed a small chuckle. ”See? Nonsensical and wrecked. Don’t expect anything that makes sense out of me any time soon.” She knew that even though she had just cried herself hoarse – her voice made it sound like her throat had been attacked by a cheese grater – she couldn’t not joke. It really was a habit. It was how she’d been dealing for these last... 12 years, making jokes and trying to forget.

Anna buried her head in her hands, trying not to break down again. ”I know it’s not my fault,” she said, ”I just feel so screwed up, and like... like it’s never going to stop, like I’m never going to feel better. I’ve felt like crap for years, and I just carried on, I kept pretending that there was nothing wrong. When there was something wrong, really, really wrong. Horribly wrong. So-“ she took a breath, choking up, ”wrong.” Her voice broke, hitting a new pitch, as she let out a quiet sob. ”So wrong.”