Home Sweet Home (Silk/Sean/Lizzy)

[s]

It was nearly five thirty, and S137 circled one of the dining tables, carefully placing silverware down in a place setting of two. Everything had to be perfect for her husband when he came home. He was the most wonderful man in the universe and he deserved a perfect wife, and she was the perfect wife.

Everything from her tie around the waist apron to her shoulder length, flipped out hair showed how perfect and beautiful she was. She’d given him two perfect children. Little Sean and little Silk, they were both away to summer camp right now.

Everything was perfect. Everything had to be perfect.

Humming softly, she walked around the table again, straightening things while a platter of meat and potatoes simmered in the oven. The smell was delicious and she smiled to herself. Once again she’d made the perfect meal for her perfect man.

Finally getting it all straight, she stepped back and looked the setting over. It was lovely. She turned around to walk into the kitchen, grabbing some potholders to open the door and peak inside. It was just about ready.

Going back to the table, she picked up the wine bottle and filled the glasses before lighting the candles, intending to be ready when he walked in the door…

[karen5]

S12 knew he was supposed to love S137 with all his heart. She was beautiful, smart, a fabulous chef, and a wonderful mother--everything a man could possibly hope to find in a wife. And yet, he found that he also knew he was supposed to be equally drawn to L224. She was witty, and charming, and just as perfect in every aspect as S137 was. He knew he was supposedly seeing the latter behind the former's back.

Yes. Supposedly.

But something about the whole ordeal seemed out of balance. His own name didn't agree with him. Names didn't have numbers... did they? Whenever he thought about it too much, his brain went fuzzy. What was going on? No matter, S137 had told him that supper would be ready be five forty-five, and it was already five-thirty.

He'd meant to come home sooner than that, but L224 had called him over and... but, no, that wasn't right. He hadn't seen her today. But he had. He found he was developing a headache just from trying to piece together what it was that he himself meant.

It's just stress, he thought dismissively. His boss was constantly breathing down his neck, and having an affair wasn't exactly something to be taken lightly. What boss? What affair? Hell, what marriage? Another throbbing head pain. S12 ignored it and made his way the last few yards to where S137 was waiting for him.

[s]

S137 picked up the glass and turned just as her darling Husband walked into the door. She smiled brightly and walked towards him. He was so handsome and perfect that just looking at him made her heart swell.

"There's my man. Bringing home the bacon." She beamed and held out the wine glass to him while she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I love you. And I prepared your favorite tonight _______ and ________ _________." Her lips moved but the sound didn't come out, but still the signals were sent. Whatever she said should sound delicious.

"The children are at camp tonight. I thought you and I could have some quality time."

[karen5]

Almost as soon as S12 walked in the door, S137 was upon him, a wine-glass in hand and a smile on her flawless face. He tried to return it, but it didn't quite work. Something was still off. Her name... S137 wasn't it. It was something else. He knew it was. And yet, if he couldn't even remember what his own actual name was, how was he supposed to remember hers?

Hearing her say that she loved him did something to his heart--made it contract, in a way, almost painfully. Almost as if he wanted to believe her, but knew for some reason she didn't actually mean the words; like she was supposed to say them, but only because of the scene they were in, because of the movie they were in and the script she had to recite. His head panged again.

When she told him what she'd made for supper, he heard nothing. "And I prepared your favourite tonight" was all he heard, beyond that it was just her mouth moving. He blinked a couple of times, feeling odd, like he should be able to know what she'd meant even if she hadn't said it aloud. Gods, his head was truly throbbing now.

Children? Camp? That sounded... almost familiar. But he still felt it was all unreal. Maybe he should tell S137 what was going on with him? For all he knew, she felt the same way. Or maybe there was simply something wrong with him, and she'd take him to a doctor. Either way.

"Quality time sounds lovely, darling." How odd. It was his voice, but he didn't remember deciding to say the words. Something was definitely wrong.

[s]

S137 beamed and nodded. She walked over to the table and bent over, preparing his plate. She paused and looked over at him. "Come and sit my darling. You've had a long day i'm sure." She sat beside him then, preparing her own plate. She ate a few bits with perfect little bights, smiling at him in between and taking small sips of the wine.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about something my love. It's about little Silken and Sean. You know how much i've enjoyed raising them and I enjoy being a mother. But I feel like we're lacking something in our family." She reached over and placed her hand in his, looking into her husbands eyes.

"I want to have another child. I miss having a baby." She bight her lower lip, "What do you think? I know expenses can be very tight..."

[karen5]

Without S12's say-so, his body obeyed S137's request to come an sit, taking up the seat she'd offered him. She smiled at him, seeming oblivious to the fact that, while she'd started nibbling on the meal she'd prepared, he hadn't. There was no hunger in him. He felt hollow an just entirely wrong. He wanted to tell her, but something kept his mouth closed.

Silken... Sean... Those names sounded far more familiar than S137 or even S12, despite it being his own. When she said she enjoyed being a mother, he bit back he urge to snort. S137 would make an awful mother. Hadn't she told him that before? But no, S137 and himself had two wonderful children. No we don't.

He reached up to massage his temples, trying to stop his head from splitting in two. There was something familiar about the pain, too, though he couldn't put his finger on why a pain should be familiar, of all things. S137 seemed not to notice his agony, prattling on about their happy family--or rather, now that he was listening, what was missing from their family.

"You don't want another baby!" he argued without thinking. And with a final, excruciating throb, his head suddenly cleared. His name wasn't S12--it was Sean Irvine. Just as hers was Silken Floss Hernandez. They were crew members aboard the Venia, and he was a telepath, which was doubtlessly why he'd been able to dig his head out of the sand. And L224 was Lizzy, with whom he'd only ever spoken, nothing more.

"Silk, listen to me," he implored suddenly, gripping her shoulders and searching her eyes desperately. It was clear from her hurt expression that she hadn't realized this was fake yet. But she needed to understand. "Silk, love, you've got to listen, all right? This isn't real. I don't know what's going on, but you and I--we're not married. We don't have kids. You're a tech specialist, and I'm a telepath. We work on the Venia together. Do you remember that?"

[s]

S137's wine glass dropped from her hand as she gasped at his outburst. Her darling had never snapped at her like that before... hadn't he? No. She stared at him, feeling hurt by his words. Why would he say that to her?

"But... but my love...!"

Her words were interrupted when he grabbed onto her shoulders, making her turn to face him. Her heart fluttered at his touch, as rough as it was and it made her feel weak in the knees, a feeling she supposed she should be used to with him but was not.

"Silk? Why are you calling me by our daughters name?" She reached her hands up between his, her fingers cupping his face as she looked up at him, concern in her expression. "Darling? Are you not feeling well? Perhaps you should lay down?"

She didn't know what he meant, what he was saying, but there was something in his eyes that frightened her.

[karen5]

A sense of hopelessness flooded Sean when Silk's eyes remained wide and confused, and, now that he'd tried to tell her the truth, worried. Like she thought there was something wrong with him. The way she was holding his face, so gently and affectionately--it wasn't Silk, but he found himself almost wishing it was.

And as if his brain took that as some cue, it tried to shut down again, tried to pull him back under the illusion that his name really was S12, and Sean was simply his son's name. But he knew he didn't have a son, and Silken had sworn off ever having children of her own, which meant that even if he had a son, she did not.

She was asking him if he wanted to lie down. She was actually asking him--"No. No, Silk, sweetheart, please, you have to listen to me. I'm okay. I'm perfectly fine. Trust me. Believe me when I say that this isn't real. Okay? It's not. You and I..." He swallowed, painfully, but then pushed on. He had to convince her.

"Don't you remember, Silk? We were neighbors, back on Delta Prime. We fell in love, do you remember that? We fell in love, and we lived together for a time. And then you ran away to follow your career. Now we're working together on the Venia. Don't you remember the Venia?"

Sean knew the gentle tone he was using wouldn't convince her of much, but he didn't want to yell at her. She looked so lost and confused, and because of earlier, so hurt. But she had to remember. If she didn't... he refused to dwell on that, instead searching her eyes again, desperate now.

[s]

She could see the love he had for her on his face, she felt it swell in her heart as he spoke.

'No. No, Silk, sweetheart, please, you have to listen to me...' She looked at his lips, feeling so much love. Her fingers continued to stroke his chin, caressing him as he went on to say,

'...we can't have another child because I don't want to live this lie anymore.'

She looked up at his face suddenly, shock and hurt in her own expression.

'...i've been seeing another woman. We're in love. I want her to have my child. Not you. I don't want this family. I don't want this life.'

The words coming out of his mouth hurt more than they would had they been bullets coming out of the barrel of a gun. She released his face and took a step back, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"I... I don't believe you." She whimpered. "You're LYING!" She threw herself at him again, throwing her arms around him and trying to cling to his frame as she started to sob.

"Please don't do this to me S12! I love you!" She looked up at his face, "Please stay with me. I can make you happy. Please?"

[karen5]

How was it possible that the look of pain on Silk's face had intensified? Maybe she was going through the same mental pain as he had, when he'd pulled his head free? But her next words proved that she believed the illusion. His heart sank, and when she threw herself at him he couldn't help but bury his face in her hair. "Oh, Silk... please, sweetheart... I don't want to go through this alone."

Wait, what? What was that she'd just said? "Please don't do this to me S12! I love you! Please stay! I can make you happy!" He closed his eyes tightly. Why was it so hard for him to tell her the truth? Where were they, anyway? Good God, what was happening? Letting her go, he kindly pushed her away from him so he could look at her when he explained.

"No, Silk. You don't love me. You haven't for a while. And this isn't real, you know, so even if you could make me happy, you wouldn't be happy yourself. You're happier by yourself--you always have been, and you always will be."

[s]

For a moment she thought her pleading had worked. That she had managed to talk him into staying. But then he pushes her away.

This she heard...

'No, Silk. You don't love me. You haven't for a while. And this isn't real, you know, so even if you could make me happy, you wouldn't be happy yourself. You're happier by yourself--you always have been, and you always will be.'

All she could do was stare. How was it her husband of so many years could all of the sudden wish to leave her? What had she done? Why was he doing this? She felt like her heart would burst as she covered her face in her hands.

"I do love you. I always have loved you S...S...Sean!" Something strange happened and she paused, not a hair moving, not even breathing, it was if for a split second she were a wax figure. Then her hands lowered and she looked up at him with clear eyes, even the tears were gone.

"You are right. We got married too young and now the love is just gone. I'll call a lawyer in the morning, but for tonight you'd better go." She turned and started to walk out of the room, pausing to add, "Get what you want and get out."

[lizzycalvino]

L224 was completely head over heels. Despite the fact that S12 was married and had kids, she'd found herself drawn to him, as he was drawn to her. There conversations were light and funny, and when they were together... it was like nothing she'd ever experienced. She was dizzy with emotion, her head was spinning. She'd heard it said that love was like a drug, and that's what it felt like, her feelings and emotions spiralling out of control.

She hadn't seen S12 today, and she found herself missing his presence. She knew he still had to see to his wife and kids, and she respected that, but... sometimes she wondered what have been like if they had happened first. If there was no wife or kids, if it was just them. She didn't want his past history to spoil everything, but sometimes it was hard. Instead, she tried to focus on the good stuff, how good he made her feel.

L224 was walking past S12's place absentmindly when S137 came storming out in a tizzy. She was frozen to the spot till S137 had walked away, then she glanced back at the room she had come from, a worried expression upon her face. Was something wrong? Cautiously, she approached the door, pushing it open to see that S12 was standing inside looking... she couldn't tell exactly, there were a whole mixture of emotions playing across his face. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly, concerned for him.

[karen5]

When Silk buried her face in her hands, Sean made to try and quieten and console her, but before he could do anything of the sort, she said his name. She said his actual name. And then she froze. Does... that mean she actually loves me? Or... does that just mean she's finally remembering? He waited silently, not sure which he hoped for more.

Her next words were blunt, cold, and painful, but Sean didn't bother with attempting to make her take them back. This was just some crazy, backward world, and she was still under its influence. Which meant he could do nothing but watch as she stormed out, ordering that he get what he wanted and leave.

Not five minutes later, the door Silk had stormed out reopened and he looked up in confusion, half-hoping it might be her returning. But no, it was a different face, though also familiar. She looked genuinely concerned, and he wasn't sure whether it was L224 or Lizzy talking to him. If Silk hadn't managed to surface, even with him explaining it to her, then how the hell could Lizzy have managed on her own?

Most reasonable answer--she hadn't, and he was talking to L224. "No, I'm not," Sean sighed, running a hand down his face. He had to convince her, one way or another, that it wasn't real. Maybe if he just asked questions, without any fancy prelude, she'd figure it out. Here goes nothing.

"I'm not okay in the slightest, Lizzy. Where are we? Why aren't we back on the Venia? I have no idea what's going on. Please tell me you know what I'm talking about?"

[lizzycalvino]

When Se...S12 said that he wasn't okay, L224 stepped further in, her concern luring her into a space where she didn't feel safe. She had no idea what had just happened, but she didn't trust S137 not to come barging back in, figure out what was going on, and hurt her. She didn't want to be hurt, not again. Again? What?

Then he started throwing all these questions at her. She tried to answer them, to think about how to answer them, but her head hurt. Her forehead wrinkled into a frown and she looked away from him, putting a hand to her head. "I d-don't... know?" she stuttered, trying to clear her head. She felt queasy, her head was spinning, but not because of love like before, but out of confusion. What was going on?

She practically fell into a chair, shaking her head violently in an effort to try and jumble her thoughts back into order. "The Venia?" she repeated, looking up at him again. It sounded familiar, or at least, she thought it dead. She thought she saw the image of a ship in her head, but then something pulled it away from her without her control. "We're... we're at the Mount... something complex? The complex, where we live." It didn't sound right for some reason, and yet her mind was trying to tell her it wasn't right.